EST. 2016 · 10 MANAGERS · ONE TROPHY
Teenage
Mutant Ninja
Bortles
Every trophy, every drought, and 365 days of bragging rights.
The lineage
11 issues · 2016—2026
5 champions · zero back-to-back
- NO. 102025rohit's Great TeamRohit113.9–97.3
- NO. 92024Waddle Baby WaddleAudrey150.6–114.9
- NO. 82023rohit's Great TeamRohit98.1–92.6
- NO. 72022Bad Mother TuckersAdam115.0–67.8
- NO. 62021GronkinatorAudrey158.5–112.8
- NO. 52020rohit's Great TeamRohit128.1–67.9
- NO. 42019Zeke and DestroyAdam107.8–65.5
- NO. 32018April FolesMaria108.8–82.9
- NO. 22017It Ertz when EifertSean135.8–63.8
- NO. 12016Fatt MorteAdam142.5–76.8
All-time
Managers
Title defenses
10 defenses · 9 failed · 1 in progress
2026 · 1-2
In progress
Rohit
1ST → ?
2025 · FINISHED 6TH
Failed
Audrey
1ST → 6TH
2024 · FINISHED 3RD
Failed
Rohit
1ST → 3RD
2023 · MISSED PLAYOFFS
Failed
Adam
1ST → 9TH
2022 · MISSED PLAYOFFS
Failed
Audrey
1ST → 9TH
2021 · FINISHED 6TH
Failed
Rohit
1ST → 6TH
2020 · FINISHED 4TH
Failed
Adam
1ST → 4TH
2019 · FINISHED 4TH
Failed
Maria
1ST → 4TH
2018 · FINISHED 4TH
Failed
Sean
1ST → 4TH
2017 · RUNNER-UP
Failed
Adam
1ST → 2ND
One card per title defense · teal dot = champion (1st) · red dot = next-season finish · lime bar = defense in progress
The droughts
Seasons since a trophy
Managers
Jason — seasons without a title
0
1
2
9
0
1
Est. 2016 · never reset
Rohit — last reset
9
0
1
Last reset 2025
3 titles — 2020 · 2023 · 2025
League tally
20162026
10 managers
Jason
10 SEASONS, 0 TITLES
10
Longest active drought
Alec
10 SEASONS, 0 TITLES
Devin
10 SEASONS, 0 TITLES
Sean
8
Maria
7
Mom
6 SEASONS, 0 TITLES
Adam
3
Sug
2 SEASONS, 0 TITLES
Audrey
1
Rohit
Title won — count resets to 0
Seasons waiting
Not in the league
10
Current count, through 2026
The tally
Career counts · all 10 seasons
Titles
Adam & Rohit
3
Audrey
2
Maria & Sean
1
11 still at zero
Runner-up finishes
Adam & Rohit & Maria
2
4 others
1
Last-place finishes
Andrew
4
Maria
2
4 others
1
All-time rates
Per week played · 10 managers
Managers
Best and worst
Single seasons · 96 seasons scored
One row is one manager in one year. Points are per game played, then divided by what the whole league averaged that season, so a 2016 line and a 2025 line sit on the same axis: 1.00 is exactly the pace of the people you actually played. It equalises the scoring settings, not the competition — a monster year against a weak field indexes higher than the same points against a strong one, and nothing on file can tell those two apart. Finish is the rank after the playoffs, which is why it carries the least weight of the three.
Best seasons
| Manager | Record | Score |
|---|---|---|
Audrey 2021 | 12-2 | +80.9 |
Rohit 2023 | 11-3 | +71.7 |
Rohit 2018 | 11-3 | +65.4 |
Rohit 2020 | 10-3 | +62.4 |
Adam 2022 | 10-4 | +60.9 |
Spencer 2020 | 9-4 | +60.1 |
Adam 2019 | 9-5 | +58.4 |
Mom 2022 | 10-4 | +57.3 |
Adam 2025 | 12-2 | +55.6 |
Rohit 2019 | 10-4 | +52.3 |
Score = 40% scoring · 35% winning · 25% finish · Terms ×100: scoring = (index − 1) ÷ 0.25 · winning = (win% − .500) × 2 · finish = (finish share − .500) × 2 · 96 seasons scored, 0 unscoreable
Worst seasons
| Manager | Record | Score |
|---|---|---|
Andrew 2023 | 2-12 | −103.6 |
Andrew 2019 | 3-11 | −86.2 |
Andrew 2022 | 4-10 | −70.0 |
William 2020 | 3-10 | −69.3 |
Sug 2025 | 4-10 | −67.1 |
Devin 2017 | 4-10 | −58.7 |
Alec 2021 | 4-10 | −55.1 |
John 2020 | 4-9 | −54.3 |
Andrew 2016 | 4-10 | −53.9 |
Alec 2020 | 4-9 | −51.5 |
Score = 40% scoring · 35% winning · 25% finish · Terms ×100: scoring = (index − 1) ÷ 0.25 · winning = (win% − .500) × 2 · finish = (finish share − .500) × 2 · index below 1.00 is behind that season's own league
The receipts
2025 season · from the week-by-week matchups
Schedule luck
Record vs all-play
Jason
7-7 · 84-42
+2.3 ROBBED
Sean
6-8 · 68-58
+1.6 ROBBED
Rohit
7-7 · 70-56
+0.8 ROBBED
Maria
5-9 · 48-78
+0.3 EVEN
Sug
4-10 · 37-89
+0.1 EVEN
Audrey
7-7 · 61-65
−0.2 EVEN
Devin
5-9 · 43-83
−0.2 EVEN
Adam
12-2 · 98-28
−1.1 GIFTED
Alec
7-7 · 53-73
−1.1 GIFTED
Mom
10-4 · 68-58
−2.4 GIFTED
All-play = your roster vs every other roster, every week · 14 weeks
Deserved wins
Actual vs expected, from PF/PA
ACTUAL
EXPECTED
VERDICT
Adam
12-2
8.5 W
OVERPAID +3.5
Mom
10-4
8.2 W
OVERPAID +1.8
Rohit
7-7
7.6 W
EARNED
Jason
7-7
7.1 W
EARNED
Audrey
7-7
7.0 W
EARNED
Sean
6-8
6.9 W
EARNED
Alec
7-7
6.6 W
EARNED
Maria
5-9
6.3 W
SHORTED −1.3
Devin
5-9
6.2 W
SHORTED −1.2
Sug
4-10
5.4 W
SHORTED −1.4
Expected wins from points for & against
11 issues · zero back-to-back titles
Nobody
repeats
Rohit has 3 rings and the reigning trophy. Every manager who has held it before has given it back the following January.